Best wishes, Sijia

Sijia's last day at Accenture

Café del Mar tomorrow~!

It’s a party week for me! First on the agenda, it’s Café del Mar tomorrow evening! I’m so excited and I’m expecting a great time with everyone. Food and drinks through the night. Summer doesn’t get any better than this.

I am my own creator

Just reached home after the DBS Core Banking meeting at our Accenture office at Raffles City Tower. It was an eye-opening experience for me - of a real business meeting - video-conferencing between us, the Hong Kong office and the Infosys people in Penu. I'm really impressed with Accenture's operations. It is truly dynamic, unlike traditional companies. The project is now ending its Design phrase and moving into Build which will be handled mainly by Infosys, therefore, we will be transiting into the Testing phrase as well. The meeting had inspired me of my role by giving me a clear overall big picture of this project. In fact, this project is currently the biggest one that is going on in the Asia Pacific region. It no longer seemed as mediocre as I used to think.

I'm inspired by the people of Accenture too- mainly the senior management. Colin and Paul - they are just so professional. I'm starting to feel that I really admire men who are professional, capable, well, in power too. Haha, Kelvin was teasing me. Especially when I have the luck of sitting just outside their room at our DBS project site. But it's true. I'm so impressed. Colin is from the states and Paul is one of the few Chinese in the senior management. And they are both so young. These men are just so different from any other Singaporean guy I see around. As usual, the always-ambitious me looks up to the female senior managers like Li Phing. When I was listening to their presentation, other than listening to the project updates, I was telling myself I want to be like them in future - working on challenging projects and sexy stuff. I'm a person who stands by my beliefs very strongly. I think that it's very important for one to have a goal in mind- what you want yourself to be like 5 years later. Of course, nothing can be achieved without hard work. I've always believed that success is a journey not a destination, but it's also important to begin with the end in mind. And I will be my own creator.

Success is a journey, not a destination

I’m not the kind of girl who talks alot, so I don't really like those who are talkative and exhibit the kind of behaviour like some marketplace-aunties. Don’t understand why those people behind me like to yack so much during office hours. Simply like nothing better to do. I thought girls should have a personality – and to me – means to remain cool. I can’t communicate with them. Don’t see the need to anyway. Conversely, girls like Li Phing are attractive – Pretty, well-groomed, capable, serious in her work and carries herself well. My role-model.

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A MOMENT OF TERROR at 6.50pm: We were walking to the mrt station and were chatting about work. SUDDENLY, a middle-aged woman came up to Kelvin from behind and shouted “Fuck your mother la!” a few times. We both went into a state of shock. Then, I burst out laughing. Gees!

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喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真

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Weekend Schedule
Friday – After work: Visa Application.

Saturday – Morning: Release of exam results!
Noon: Networking Lunch & Welcome Tea for incoming freshmen,
at University Hall
Late afternoon: Shopping for laptop accessories and travel stuff
in town
Evening: Dinner and wine with George (my consolation)

Sunday – Whole day: Research project for Prof. Ahn

SO many things not done yet, next weekend is equally bad. I admit I have been too ambitious and thus I’m feeling really overloaded now. No time to slack like a student on summer vacation. I’ll try to squeeze in some slack time in June. All work and no play made me such a dull girl. Today, I’ve got 30% of Config Mgtm Team’s work transferred to me, on top of my regular support for Finacle Apps Team. And the next few weeks will be super busy with all the functional teams signing off their deliverables. I foresee… packed lunches in office and late evenings’ work. Meetings sucks, esp the one just now. I remember I did the mini lecture on meeting/group behaviours for Biz Com last sem. I really want to burst out laughing this afternoon. I was trying to categorize what kind of behaviour those people were exhibiting during the discussion. They ought to be taught by Catherine Cook on how to improve their meeting skills!

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我相信找不到有比你更好的人
你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份
好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人

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Yesterday’s SMP Appreciation Ceremony was quite crap to me. Is there a need for that? Quite like a show to me; against my beliefs. Anyway, some of us were talking and they claimed my pay is like 3 x of theirs. I didn’t know internships are generally so badly paid. I do feel some gratification and motivated to work harder.

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Until the day I meet you, my life will be like this everyday.

Great lessons in life

I feel simply sick of all these! We have already broke up for more than a year and I am still linked in some way for whatever shit that he has done. What the hell! I remembered that was the Saturday before APB exams when I was “greeted” with that writ of summons at my doorstep. I was traumatized like crazy and simply had no idea what trouble he has got me into AGAIN. And I had to study for exams! It was only on Monday that I could call and get things clear. I never did sign as his guarantor at all. The law firm should really check their documents clearly before they start traumatizing innocent citizens. Well, it was resolved. But today, I saw 2 missed calls from the law firm during lunch and my heart missed a beat again. When I called back, the lady asked me to help her contact my ex and his rightful guarantor because they can’t find them. Gosh… Can anyone tell me what is going on? What do all these issues have to do with me?! The biggest mistake that I made was ever to have that slightest hope in him. And the biggest lesson that I learnt is to never follow your heart but be rational, be hard-hearted, and think a million times before you call someone your boyfriend. Never assume that you truly know a person, no matter how close you all might be at that point of time.

I learnt another lesson at work today. Never put a story book on your desk because that equates to you having no work to do. Apparently one manager commented on that. I think that’s a lame assumption for anyone to make. The fact is I didn’t even have time to read it at all and I left it there because I just happened to leave it there. Sijia told me that is an unspoken office rule. I think the real unspoken office rule is – learn to be a great pretender. Anyway, managers always believe what they see as existence and assume what they don’t see as non-existence.

My grievances don’t end here. Both my neck and back feel so strained now from the many hours of sitting in front of my laptop and studying the sign-off presentations today. My eyes feel really tired too. Worse, my legs feel like they are practically breaking from the daily torturous experience with my high-heel shoes. The social phenomenon of all girls working at Shenton Way should put on high-heel cord shoes should be put to a stop. Who can ever survive such long-term torture? I am desperate for my mum’s Osim iSqueeze every night.

Well, to put a better closure to my depressing day, I just had a chat with George. He told me to ask for the proof of the retraction from the court summon from the law firm to protect myself. Also, he told me the unspoken rule is valid because Accenture has to portray a positive image since we are working at the client’s side. He also told me to exercise more initiative in my internship and talk to the managers to be involved in the areas of work that I am truly interested in, instead of taking things passively. He is coming to visit me one of these days and thinks he wants to help me establish a more personal relationship with the managers – his old friends. If there is anyone who can always provide me with good advice for school, work or life and give me the kind of assurance and enlightenment I need, it is George. If there is any friend I ever felt indebted to, it is also George. I must be too blessed to have him in my life – the kind of friend who will always be able to offer a helping hand, a crying shoulder and a torch to put life into clearer perspectives.

New found friends

I have been with Accenture for more than a week. I must say that my project team – people I am working with directly are SUPERBLY NICE. I really enjoy the company of these new found friends. They are all very young people, more or less around my age. But, there is only one Accenture perm staff in the team and that’s my intern buddy Hwee Keong. He is an SMU grad, majoring Information Systems, recently converted into an analyst. He treated me pasta (my fave!) on thurs haha. More importantly, he has taught and helped me with many issues and has made me felt so welcomed and looked after at Accenture. Thanks intern buddy!

The rest of the people are all named by Accenture as “contractors”. I thought that’s downright discrimination! At Accenture, an analyst will need to go through 4 rounds of interviews and if you don’t have an honours degree you cannot even pass round 1. Though it will not affect me in any way, I can’t agree with this. An honours degree simply is not representative of anything. Therefore, most people employed on the team are either contractors or interns. My senior and mentor - Sijia is an NUS grad Statistics major. She is a really really really nice girl. The 2 of us had a heart-to-heart sharing time yesterday and that was sweet. It has been so long since I can relate so well with a girl. Probably cos we have the same English name, such a coincidence! But, I thought it was because we share common passion and thoughts of life.

Since 4 years ago, I have engaged actively in social service work, be it community service, counseling or mentoring. It was then that I discovered the joy of giving and sharing and that life encompass greater significance than mere possession. I have a dream to leave the city-life one day and commit my life to the unprivileged in this world. One of it is joining the missionaries to third-world countries. I shared this with Sijia and she has the same passion! She was able to understand my emotions so well when many people couldn’t. It is a joy to find a friend who can establish a common understanding with not many words. She goes to a church named Hope. And, she has a boyfriend who is a teacher. And Sijia’s dream is also to be a teacher! That is simply so sweet - to find a partner who can share common interests and dreams. Apparently, she has also gone through difficult times emotionally in relationships until she found her current boyfriend last December. I share her happiness and I wish I will be blessed like her, one day.

She loves music and plays the cello. As such, she is an emotional person, just like I am. Sijia told me that God has a plan for everyone and at every point in our lives, God gives us what He thinks is the most suitable for us. Therefore, failures and setbacks can be a promise to success and whenever I feel down, I should see the significance beyond the present. It was so heartwarming to share thoughts with Sijia. But, I wasn’t completely truthful about my past. Actually, I thought everyone would have their rights to their own secrets of life. It didn’t mean that I didn’t treat her with sincerity. I just want some traumatic past to be completely out of my life, so if I am going to perpetuate the past into new friends, it would never leave me. I guess, only Pam and Limin will hold the key to my past.

The Accenture experience has been marvelous so far, greatly fulfilled by the wonderful people around me.

Paranoid

I felt really intimidated by what I heard in office this afternoon. Luckily, it’s not yet a serious matter and I hope that everything stays well. I’ve been feeling so tensed up these few days while waiting for my medical test result. I feel like I’m going mad praying everyday that the clinic does not call me and tell me bad news. I just hope that they don’t ever call which means that I’m fine. I pray and pray and pray.

It was a bad choice to sit beside Zhihao during lunch. Gosh, he is so talkative. And I really hate to answer questions about myself, my past and everything. Spare me please! And I wonder who’s that guy Cheryl told me just now. Anyway, doesn’t matter la, just another typical Singaporean guy. Typical guys usually don’t catch my attention. But then, I’m getting so paranoid again. I just hope people can leave me alone and let me keep a low profile. I just want to do my internship well and have a good record. Been feeling disillusioned, though Kelvin has been telling me that all internships are almost the same, as in you don’t get really challenging tasks. And worse, I feel distanced from my passion even though I’m on the DBS core banking project, because Accenture is afterall a technology-based company. Never mind la. Pay is good and Accenture is a reputable company so it will still add value to my resume. I shall not be lazy again next summer and put in the effort to complete the ever-long-winded application forms for some banking/fs postions.

I heard my all-time fave song on Class 95 today. Inspired as usual.

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

– Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson