Prisoner of Emotions

I think I have been really insensitive to realize that my friend is feeling upset. Daqi, I know you will read this so I want to say something to you: Sorry, I didn’t realize you were feeling so depressed and yet I just kept on complaining about my work to you on Tuesday when we had lunch. And yet, you even tried to “console” me. So, you are a strong person! Like me, though we are vulnerable and feel really down at times, we will not allow ourselves to be defeated, right? I understand very well how you feel. I was very depressed when I dropped out of Dean’s List last sem. Not forgetting that I cried for 2 hours after the release of results, I was feeling upset for that whole month. So I told myself I will never be complacent again and I will really work hard and start from ground zero. I’m glad that my Begin with the end in mind motivated you in some way and I hope to see you back on your feet stronger than before, which I know you will. You are one of the few people around me whom I recognized common qualities among us – we are highly motivated people, with passion and drive in our pursuit; we strive to give our best, to reach as close to perfection as we can; we aim high and we want to achieve success through our own efforts. The journey is tough, because failures demoralize us but we are made to go through them so that we can become stronger. I believe that a person who is able to cross life’s hurdles will stand tall and proud at the end of the journey. I believe, with faith and perseverance that efforts do pay off.

This brings me to reflect upon myself too. When have I become this girl who doesn’t have much to say to people? Now, I even started blogging again when I didn't even have the time at home previously. Thinking back, I was such a fun-loving girl. But now, I seldom go out and stay at home every night and almost every weekend. I stay in my own world and in front of people, I’m just faking a smile, a laugh everyday of my life. So, when it gets too tiring, I refuse to even look into people’s eyes. To many, I’m proud and do not bother about the people around me. I don’t smile and don’t join people in their fun.

Why?

… I know it’s because I’m afraid. I’m afraid people will found out who I was – the once a bad girl. I’d spent the first part of my growing-up days desperately in love with what I was doing, and the second part of it doing everything I could to forget it existed. How many people can truly understand what I have gone through? I dare to say, almost none. But I wouldn’t need anyone to understand too. It is not about having many friends around me but how much I can truly open my heart to someone? I am happy just to enjoy some peaceful moments alone.

Who would have guessed that a girl who looks good on the outside has a sad story to tell?

I often feel very discouraged by the people around me. Many people have had a good life since young, a bed of roses, who never know what hardships are. Many people take for granted what they have and are never appreciative. Many people are superficial, be it in their thoughts or priorities. Yes, many a times I feel discouraged. But, I also believe.

I sent in my application to volunteer as a counselor at the Singapore’s Girls’ Home this afternoon. I believe that I was made to go through everything I went though so that I can become a strong and successful woman one day. I also believe that it’s my calling to help the young girls who are helpless and lost like I once was. I feel sad to see that that most people in our society today are the least sensitive and empathetic they can be. I want to be there for that person who may need someone to understand her badly.

I know it’s my problem and not the fault of others. Many people have tried to step into my world only to find me walking further from them – I still can’t open my heart to the people around me. So I remain aloof in front of many people where in fact I’m just hiding inside my shell. Keong told me to smile more, to enjoy time with the others instead of always focusing on my work. Yes, I think this is something I have to overcome – to step out and accept people into my life. I will probably be happier that way. But, it will take some time and it’s not going to be easy. I will give myself the time. Daniel asked me to join him and his friends for tennis tomorrow. As usual, I gave some excuses and turned him down. I usually don’t go out with anyone unless we are fairly close friends. But, I have decided to give myself a chance, so I will meet him for gym this Saturday.

I realised that everytime I feel more "free", I tend to feel more emotional and have alot of thoughts. No wonder I always try to keep myself busy. Whatever it is, I will give myself time to forget the past and look into the future. And I hope the people around me will give me the chance too.

I am my own creator

Just reached home after the DBS Core Banking meeting at our Accenture office at Raffles City Tower. It was an eye-opening experience for me - of a real business meeting - video-conferencing between us, the Hong Kong office and the Infosys people in Penu. I'm really impressed with Accenture's operations. It is truly dynamic, unlike traditional companies. The project is now ending its Design phrase and moving into Build which will be handled mainly by Infosys, therefore, we will be transiting into the Testing phrase as well. The meeting had inspired me of my role by giving me a clear overall big picture of this project. In fact, this project is currently the biggest one that is going on in the Asia Pacific region. It no longer seemed as mediocre as I used to think.

I'm inspired by the people of Accenture too- mainly the senior management. Colin and Paul - they are just so professional. I'm starting to feel that I really admire men who are professional, capable, well, in power too. Haha, Kelvin was teasing me. Especially when I have the luck of sitting just outside their room at our DBS project site. But it's true. I'm so impressed. Colin is from the states and Paul is one of the few Chinese in the senior management. And they are both so young. These men are just so different from any other Singaporean guy I see around. As usual, the always-ambitious me looks up to the female senior managers like Li Phing. When I was listening to their presentation, other than listening to the project updates, I was telling myself I want to be like them in future - working on challenging projects and sexy stuff. I'm a person who stands by my beliefs very strongly. I think that it's very important for one to have a goal in mind- what you want yourself to be like 5 years later. Of course, nothing can be achieved without hard work. I've always believed that success is a journey not a destination, but it's also important to begin with the end in mind. And I will be my own creator.

Exam Results!

I think I really have to be satisfied this time, or at least I couldn't ask for more. Well, didn't expect Biz Com to get A, so that's a bonus. But I was expecting a better grade for APB and got only A-. Must be the curse from that writ! I was expecting one more A+ too. But still.... overall, I have done well and finally managed to pull my CAP past that stagnant mark. Daqi just said something to me which I find it very true - Though results are not everything and definitely not the deciding factor for one's success, at every point in life we aim at different things. So, as a student, I'm happy to give myself a pat on the shoulder now.

Frustrated

I always have this frustrated feeling when I find myself talking to someone whom I can't communicate with. Communication is very important to me, which means the ability to reach a certain level of understanding to the satisfaction of both parties. I can't help it and I tried to be more patient but it's really very difficult to talk to some people without feeling irritated. Quality, not quantity, matters alot to me. I don't know if it's work stress or tiredness that's making me so bad mood now. Or is it the SEP matters? There are sooooo many issues to take care of. It's tiring and stressful! My results better be good when I check tomorrow morning, else my mood will be worse and the rest of the day will be spoilt. I am looking forward to meeting George tomorrow and I certainly hope that it will be quality time spent. Call it my attitude but I really don't like wasting my time with people I can't communicate with. But I trust George will be able to enlighten me.

I am feeling so drained now. Let me have a good sleep please.

Success is a journey, not a destination

I’m not the kind of girl who talks alot, so I don't really like those who are talkative and exhibit the kind of behaviour like some marketplace-aunties. Don’t understand why those people behind me like to yack so much during office hours. Simply like nothing better to do. I thought girls should have a personality – and to me – means to remain cool. I can’t communicate with them. Don’t see the need to anyway. Conversely, girls like Li Phing are attractive – Pretty, well-groomed, capable, serious in her work and carries herself well. My role-model.

****************************************************

A MOMENT OF TERROR at 6.50pm: We were walking to the mrt station and were chatting about work. SUDDENLY, a middle-aged woman came up to Kelvin from behind and shouted “Fuck your mother la!” a few times. We both went into a state of shock. Then, I burst out laughing. Gees!

****************************************************

喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真

****************************************************

Weekend Schedule
Friday – After work: Visa Application.

Saturday – Morning: Release of exam results!
Noon: Networking Lunch & Welcome Tea for incoming freshmen,
at University Hall
Late afternoon: Shopping for laptop accessories and travel stuff
in town
Evening: Dinner and wine with George (my consolation)

Sunday – Whole day: Research project for Prof. Ahn

SO many things not done yet, next weekend is equally bad. I admit I have been too ambitious and thus I’m feeling really overloaded now. No time to slack like a student on summer vacation. I’ll try to squeeze in some slack time in June. All work and no play made me such a dull girl. Today, I’ve got 30% of Config Mgtm Team’s work transferred to me, on top of my regular support for Finacle Apps Team. And the next few weeks will be super busy with all the functional teams signing off their deliverables. I foresee… packed lunches in office and late evenings’ work. Meetings sucks, esp the one just now. I remember I did the mini lecture on meeting/group behaviours for Biz Com last sem. I really want to burst out laughing this afternoon. I was trying to categorize what kind of behaviour those people were exhibiting during the discussion. They ought to be taught by Catherine Cook on how to improve their meeting skills!

****************************************************

我相信找不到有比你更好的人
你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份
好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人

****************************************************

Yesterday’s SMP Appreciation Ceremony was quite crap to me. Is there a need for that? Quite like a show to me; against my beliefs. Anyway, some of us were talking and they claimed my pay is like 3 x of theirs. I didn’t know internships are generally so badly paid. I do feel some gratification and motivated to work harder.

****************************************************

Until the day I meet you, my life will be like this everyday.

A gift from bro

Brother is finally back from Taiwan today. He got me this gift - a leather handphone strap engraved with my name. And its my favourite colour, so pretty! Like it lotsa...

En Japanese Dining Bar

We went to En Japanese Dining Bar located at Crown Centre, Bukit Timah Road. It’s an authentic Japanese restaurant – a newly opened place since the 15^th of this month. Except for the blur waitresses, everything else is fantastic – the furniture, cutlery and ambience. We sat at the bar and were attended by the sushi chef - Danny was really friendly and he even treated us to wine and desert. The food was superb, especially the salmon sashimi. Unforgettable.. and I will be craving for them. I would highly recommend this place to people who are into fine Japanese dining and love Jap food as much as I do.

Famished

Dinner and movie last night certainly cheered me up abit from my stressful life. Well, it will be better later cos Xanthus is treating me to my fave Jap food for dinner. Smilez~ He is also driving his new luggage bag over, that he has offered to let me use for my NY trip. Always sweet to have nice friends around :)

What I am grateful for...

Weekends feel nice, though I have so much work to do for these 4 weekends. But still, I like being busy. I enjoy the ownership of a sense of fulfillment. This research project that Prof. Ahn has got me to help him with excites me and I believe that the experience will be good for my honours thesis. What warms me even more is that he has chosen to ask me in the first place. It is heartening when teachers remember me and recognize my abilities. In fact, I have always considered myself privileged when it comes to having supportive and caring teachers around me. In university, when the interaction between teachers and students are not as close as compared to previous schools, I’m glad to have found mentors that I have grown attached to right here in NUS - Prof Alfred, Mr Yong, Prof Lan, Mr Shen and now, Prof. Ahn. They are people who have supported me not only in school work but in my life as well by spending time talking to me, giving me advice and opportunities. Of course, I never forget people from the good old days – Mrs Choo, Jeffrey Wu, Paul Tan and Joanna Tsang. And Mrs Choo has been calling me so often these 2 months for her focus group research to improve the BFS program. And she has just asked me yesterday if I’m interested to go back and mentor my juniors in finance/investment related areas. Of course, I’ll not reject no matter how busy, because sharing life and experiences is very meaningful for me. I feel especially passionate as well because I myself have received alot from my mentors. And the gratitude I feel for them is eternal.

Great lessons in life

I feel simply sick of all these! We have already broke up for more than a year and I am still linked in some way for whatever shit that he has done. What the hell! I remembered that was the Saturday before APB exams when I was “greeted” with that writ of summons at my doorstep. I was traumatized like crazy and simply had no idea what trouble he has got me into AGAIN. And I had to study for exams! It was only on Monday that I could call and get things clear. I never did sign as his guarantor at all. The law firm should really check their documents clearly before they start traumatizing innocent citizens. Well, it was resolved. But today, I saw 2 missed calls from the law firm during lunch and my heart missed a beat again. When I called back, the lady asked me to help her contact my ex and his rightful guarantor because they can’t find them. Gosh… Can anyone tell me what is going on? What do all these issues have to do with me?! The biggest mistake that I made was ever to have that slightest hope in him. And the biggest lesson that I learnt is to never follow your heart but be rational, be hard-hearted, and think a million times before you call someone your boyfriend. Never assume that you truly know a person, no matter how close you all might be at that point of time.

I learnt another lesson at work today. Never put a story book on your desk because that equates to you having no work to do. Apparently one manager commented on that. I think that’s a lame assumption for anyone to make. The fact is I didn’t even have time to read it at all and I left it there because I just happened to leave it there. Sijia told me that is an unspoken office rule. I think the real unspoken office rule is – learn to be a great pretender. Anyway, managers always believe what they see as existence and assume what they don’t see as non-existence.

My grievances don’t end here. Both my neck and back feel so strained now from the many hours of sitting in front of my laptop and studying the sign-off presentations today. My eyes feel really tired too. Worse, my legs feel like they are practically breaking from the daily torturous experience with my high-heel shoes. The social phenomenon of all girls working at Shenton Way should put on high-heel cord shoes should be put to a stop. Who can ever survive such long-term torture? I am desperate for my mum’s Osim iSqueeze every night.

Well, to put a better closure to my depressing day, I just had a chat with George. He told me to ask for the proof of the retraction from the court summon from the law firm to protect myself. Also, he told me the unspoken rule is valid because Accenture has to portray a positive image since we are working at the client’s side. He also told me to exercise more initiative in my internship and talk to the managers to be involved in the areas of work that I am truly interested in, instead of taking things passively. He is coming to visit me one of these days and thinks he wants to help me establish a more personal relationship with the managers – his old friends. If there is anyone who can always provide me with good advice for school, work or life and give me the kind of assurance and enlightenment I need, it is George. If there is any friend I ever felt indebted to, it is also George. I must be too blessed to have him in my life – the kind of friend who will always be able to offer a helping hand, a crying shoulder and a torch to put life into clearer perspectives.

Mother's Day

Today is a special day for all to rejoice and give thanks to mothers. Though my house lacks the noise, crowd and vibrancy that many families have, the bond between mama-brother-me is very strong. Mama has worked very hard to give the best to brother and me. I feel that our attachment is far stronger than many families. That is enough for me already. Just chatted with brother on msn. I thank God for blessing my brother and protecting him from the Taiwan military jet crash. He told me that the jet crashed into his camp and the whole place caught fire. They evacuated immediately and he was lucky to have escaped safely. I feel very depressed for the dead and injured; but I am very thankful that my brother is well. Therefore, on this special day, even if my brother is overseas, we rejoice and value that we have each other in our lives.

Thank you Mama. Thank you Bro.

Mama’s gift

Brother and I celebrated with mama - Mother’s Day - before he left for Taiwan last week. It was a wonderful buffet dinner. Mother’s Day has great significance for me. In addition to the dinner, I bought a teddy bear yesterday. Mama has always loved bears, so I’m sure she will like this gift. The bear is holding a heart-shaped frame that can be used to display a photo. I have a silly wish - this bear will accompany mama everyday that I am in New York and watch after her.

I got a card for her too.

虽然我时常乱发脾气；
虽然我都不听你的话；
虽然我曾让你伤心难过；
妈妈是我生命中最珍贵的人。

谢谢你包容我的一切；
谢谢你原谅我的过错；
谢谢你在我悲伤时安慰我；
谢谢你，
因为你从来都没曾放弃我。

祝
母亲节快乐！

New found friends

I have been with Accenture for more than a week. I must say that my project team – people I am working with directly are SUPERBLY NICE. I really enjoy the company of these new found friends. They are all very young people, more or less around my age. But, there is only one Accenture perm staff in the team and that’s my intern buddy Hwee Keong. He is an SMU grad, majoring Information Systems, recently converted into an analyst. He treated me pasta (my fave!) on thurs haha. More importantly, he has taught and helped me with many issues and has made me felt so welcomed and looked after at Accenture. Thanks intern buddy!

The rest of the people are all named by Accenture as “contractors”. I thought that’s downright discrimination! At Accenture, an analyst will need to go through 4 rounds of interviews and if you don’t have an honours degree you cannot even pass round 1. Though it will not affect me in any way, I can’t agree with this. An honours degree simply is not representative of anything. Therefore, most people employed on the team are either contractors or interns. My senior and mentor - Sijia is an NUS grad Statistics major. She is a really really really nice girl. The 2 of us had a heart-to-heart sharing time yesterday and that was sweet. It has been so long since I can relate so well with a girl. Probably cos we have the same English name, such a coincidence! But, I thought it was because we share common passion and thoughts of life.

Since 4 years ago, I have engaged actively in social service work, be it community service, counseling or mentoring. It was then that I discovered the joy of giving and sharing and that life encompass greater significance than mere possession. I have a dream to leave the city-life one day and commit my life to the unprivileged in this world. One of it is joining the missionaries to third-world countries. I shared this with Sijia and she has the same passion! She was able to understand my emotions so well when many people couldn’t. It is a joy to find a friend who can establish a common understanding with not many words. She goes to a church named Hope. And, she has a boyfriend who is a teacher. And Sijia’s dream is also to be a teacher! That is simply so sweet - to find a partner who can share common interests and dreams. Apparently, she has also gone through difficult times emotionally in relationships until she found her current boyfriend last December. I share her happiness and I wish I will be blessed like her, one day.

She loves music and plays the cello. As such, she is an emotional person, just like I am. Sijia told me that God has a plan for everyone and at every point in our lives, God gives us what He thinks is the most suitable for us. Therefore, failures and setbacks can be a promise to success and whenever I feel down, I should see the significance beyond the present. It was so heartwarming to share thoughts with Sijia. But, I wasn’t completely truthful about my past. Actually, I thought everyone would have their rights to their own secrets of life. It didn’t mean that I didn’t treat her with sincerity. I just want some traumatic past to be completely out of my life, so if I am going to perpetuate the past into new friends, it would never leave me. I guess, only Pam and Limin will hold the key to my past.

The Accenture experience has been marvelous so far, greatly fulfilled by the wonderful people around me.

Paranoid

I felt really intimidated by what I heard in office this afternoon. Luckily, it’s not yet a serious matter and I hope that everything stays well. I’ve been feeling so tensed up these few days while waiting for my medical test result. I feel like I’m going mad praying everyday that the clinic does not call me and tell me bad news. I just hope that they don’t ever call which means that I’m fine. I pray and pray and pray.

It was a bad choice to sit beside Zhihao during lunch. Gosh, he is so talkative. And I really hate to answer questions about myself, my past and everything. Spare me please! And I wonder who’s that guy Cheryl told me just now. Anyway, doesn’t matter la, just another typical Singaporean guy. Typical guys usually don’t catch my attention. But then, I’m getting so paranoid again. I just hope people can leave me alone and let me keep a low profile. I just want to do my internship well and have a good record. Been feeling disillusioned, though Kelvin has been telling me that all internships are almost the same, as in you don’t get really challenging tasks. And worse, I feel distanced from my passion even though I’m on the DBS core banking project, because Accenture is afterall a technology-based company. Never mind la. Pay is good and Accenture is a reputable company so it will still add value to my resume. I shall not be lazy again next summer and put in the effort to complete the ever-long-winded application forms for some banking/fs postions.

I heard my all-time fave song on Class 95 today. Inspired as usual.

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

– Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson

Life’s a Dilemma

I feel so good after a shower, lying on my bed, hugging Puppy and blogging. Work has not been that stressful or busy but I feel tired. Tired of life. I din’t even give myself a “reasonable” amount of time to rest after exams. And now, I got to wake up at 6.45am every work-day to reach office at 9am. Gosh, I need more than 1 hr to prepare. If I can - don’t put on make-up and dress up nicely, I would be able to sleep abit more. But I know that I can’t. Hmm. Am I such an insecure person that I need a “shield” to protect myself and make myself feel confident? Sigh. I think probably so. Actually, I know that beneath my looks and what many people perceived as an “air of confidence”, deep within, I feel insecure and even inferior at times. In fact, many things in this world are not what they appear to be and we should not be too superficial in our thoughts as well.

Another thing about getting to work at 9am. Actually, the timing is flexible and we could even reach at 9.30-10am. But… I must always be so prim and proper about everything. I don’t know whether this is a good or bad trait. But it’s tiring to be me because I never seem to allow for anything imperfect. Is this one of the reasons why I have always been feeling unhappy? Many people have been telling me that my expectations are very high and I demand too much from things. How I wished I won’t take everything so seriously and make my life easier.

So, I have a wish all these years that I can leave the city-life one day. I want to live in a place closest to Mother Nature with mountains, sea, flowers and fresh air. The significance of true living is much more difficult to realize than one assumes. Though my wish is unattainable for at least the next 10 years, it is never too late for anything. The most important thing is 永远不要放弃心中的愿望.

Life’s a dilemma. If I don’t work now, I’ll feel so useless. But now that I’m working, I have so much sentiment. Distant pastures always look greener. But no, I can’t be that superficial. I forgot I wanted to appreciate what I have now and be grateful for everyday.

Strive on!

I thought of the movie I watched in Film and History during the previous sem – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It is one of my favourite movies.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

- "Eloisa to Abelard" by Alexander Pope

I know that my highly-sensitive personality has always been a barrier to happiness. I wish for the day I can smile truly from my heart.

"Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

R E V E L A T I O N S

Welcome to my new blog.

I like this template. Black and white is nice. Simple is nice.

Well, it’s been a long time since I wrote. And there are so many thoughts and emotions I wanna share.

It was a nightmare. And when I finally opened my eyes, I found that the people around me were all different. Then I realized that everything I once embraced, I once thought was so important, was not at all.

我曾 认真 试爱着一个人

他给我幸福的可能

我等 我问 未来何时发生

他只是给我一个吻

快乐 我哭 是因为你的手

曾答应带我向前走

难过 我哭 是因为我的手

找不到你说的 以后

好眼泪 坏眼泪 我都曾为你流

感动和悲伤都是理由

只不过 在你不再爱我了以后

像坏的眼泪慢慢流

只希望 在我不再想你了之后

有好的眼泪慢慢流

有好的笑容陪着我

Depression is scary. I don’t want to go through it again. I will learn to smile abit more everyday, to be grateful for everyday. I promise. Actually it’s never too late to realize anything or to change anything, at least one can still be hopeful then. So I tell myself, even if I had wasted so many years pursing something which was already wrong from the start, its ok. I learn. I will become better. I have distanced from many people – people who were once so close to me – but who now belong to a different world, which I can no longer relate. And because I know that only through leaving them can I let my nightmare fade. I don’t want to even remember who, what, where.

I don’t need a lot of friends. I used to have tons. So what? True friends are hard to come by. At least, after all these while, I have reconciled with reality. I was glad I patched things up with Pam. How could I ever forget who was the one by my side at the lowest point in my life? How could I ever forget who held my hand tightly when I can’t stop crying? How could I walk out of it without her?

B is for Bastard. I like to call him that and everyone finds it a suitable name.

开始旅行寂寞很清醒
我在靠近过去的边境
有些恋人只是
路过时的风景

曾经太过年轻却绝对真心
我给的爱始终任性
不懂花开只一次的爱情

Time flies. I have been in NUS for two years. I love NUS! In fact, I love studying and I really enjoy what I am learning. All thanks to my passion that I am able to survive through difficult times. Studying is never a bed of roses, especially in Biz where it’s so competitive. But, if you really devote your heart and soul into loving what you do, it no longer becomes a chore. I just hope that I can do better because I know I can. Hey... I’m not bragging about my results and I never think that they are fantastic. Just wished that the people around me can understand that different people have different expectations, given different experiences and achievements, so how can different people have the same desires?

If not for school, I guess I wouldn’t have the chance to meet really great friends - Yingxia, Deb, Jon, Yougang. They brightened up my life when all around me was dark. I miss the days in classes, lunches, KTVs… But well, we are not as close last sem. Probably, it’s me. Sometimes, I think my attitude is really bad. Still struggling to handle my emotions.

Doing an internship with Accenture now. Quite a cool company but people work really hard. But I guess it’s the same at every place and for anyone who is ambitious. So I will try to learn as much from the people there in the next three months. And I can’t wait to go New York - the most exciting part of my Uni-life awaits me. Truly, it’s a DREAM come true. I am going to live and study in the city of the world. Never thought I would have this chance, at least not with B. Never. But well, the world looks beautiful now. New environment. New friends. New life. How excited I am!

I got my second medical test result this morning. Phew. One more to go. I pray hard.

You came back today. I never told you but I did miss you when you were not here. You really touched my heart for all that you have done for me. Though sometimes you are really dumb, you have a truly sincere heart and personality, which our world seriously is deprived of.

“You are my princess. I won’t forsake you no matter what.”

Thanks.