R E V E L A T I O N S

Welcome to my new blog.

I like this template. Black and white is nice. Simple is nice.

Well, it’s been a long time since I wrote. And there are so many thoughts and emotions I wanna share.

It was a nightmare. And when I finally opened my eyes, I found that the people around me were all different. Then I realized that everything I once embraced, I once thought was so important, was not at all.

我曾 认真 试爱着一个人

他给我幸福的可能

我等 我问 未来何时发生

他只是给我一个吻

快乐 我哭 是因为你的手

曾答应带我向前走

难过 我哭 是因为我的手

找不到你说的 以后

好眼泪 坏眼泪 我都曾为你流

感动和悲伤都是理由

只不过 在你不再爱我了以后

像坏的眼泪慢慢流

只希望 在我不再想你了之后

有好的眼泪慢慢流

有好的笑容陪着我

Depression is scary. I don’t want to go through it again. I will learn to smile abit more everyday, to be grateful for everyday. I promise. Actually it’s never too late to realize anything or to change anything, at least one can still be hopeful then. So I tell myself, even if I had wasted so many years pursing something which was already wrong from the start, its ok. I learn. I will become better. I have distanced from many people – people who were once so close to me – but who now belong to a different world, which I can no longer relate. And because I know that only through leaving them can I let my nightmare fade. I don’t want to even remember who, what, where.

I don’t need a lot of friends. I used to have tons. So what? True friends are hard to come by. At least, after all these while, I have reconciled with reality. I was glad I patched things up with Pam. How could I ever forget who was the one by my side at the lowest point in my life? How could I ever forget who held my hand tightly when I can’t stop crying? How could I walk out of it without her?

B is for Bastard. I like to call him that and everyone finds it a suitable name.

开始旅行寂寞很清醒
我在靠近过去的边境
有些恋人只是
路过时的风景

曾经太过年轻却绝对真心
我给的爱始终任性
不懂花开只一次的爱情

Time flies. I have been in NUS for two years. I love NUS! In fact, I love studying and I really enjoy what I am learning. All thanks to my passion that I am able to survive through difficult times. Studying is never a bed of roses, especially in Biz where it’s so competitive. But, if you really devote your heart and soul into loving what you do, it no longer becomes a chore. I just hope that I can do better because I know I can. Hey... I’m not bragging about my results and I never think that they are fantastic. Just wished that the people around me can understand that different people have different expectations, given different experiences and achievements, so how can different people have the same desires?

If not for school, I guess I wouldn’t have the chance to meet really great friends - Yingxia, Deb, Jon, Yougang. They brightened up my life when all around me was dark. I miss the days in classes, lunches, KTVs… But well, we are not as close last sem. Probably, it’s me. Sometimes, I think my attitude is really bad. Still struggling to handle my emotions.

Doing an internship with Accenture now. Quite a cool company but people work really hard. But I guess it’s the same at every place and for anyone who is ambitious. So I will try to learn as much from the people there in the next three months. And I can’t wait to go New York - the most exciting part of my Uni-life awaits me. Truly, it’s a DREAM come true. I am going to live and study in the city of the world. Never thought I would have this chance, at least not with B. Never. But well, the world looks beautiful now. New environment. New friends. New life. How excited I am!

I got my second medical test result this morning. Phew. One more to go. I pray hard.

You came back today. I never told you but I did miss you when you were not here. You really touched my heart for all that you have done for me. Though sometimes you are really dumb, you have a truly sincere heart and personality, which our world seriously is deprived of.

“You are my princess. I won’t forsake you no matter what.”

Thanks.