Paranoid

I felt really intimidated by what I heard in office this afternoon. Luckily, it’s not yet a serious matter and I hope that everything stays well. I’ve been feeling so tensed up these few days while waiting for my medical test result. I feel like I’m going mad praying everyday that the clinic does not call me and tell me bad news. I just hope that they don’t ever call which means that I’m fine. I pray and pray and pray.

It was a bad choice to sit beside Zhihao during lunch. Gosh, he is so talkative. And I really hate to answer questions about myself, my past and everything. Spare me please! And I wonder who’s that guy Cheryl told me just now. Anyway, doesn’t matter la, just another typical Singaporean guy. Typical guys usually don’t catch my attention. But then, I’m getting so paranoid again. I just hope people can leave me alone and let me keep a low profile. I just want to do my internship well and have a good record. Been feeling disillusioned, though Kelvin has been telling me that all internships are almost the same, as in you don’t get really challenging tasks. And worse, I feel distanced from my passion even though I’m on the DBS core banking project, because Accenture is afterall a technology-based company. Never mind la. Pay is good and Accenture is a reputable company so it will still add value to my resume. I shall not be lazy again next summer and put in the effort to complete the ever-long-winded application forms for some banking/fs postions.

I heard my all-time fave song on Class 95 today. Inspired as usual.

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

– Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson