I woke up rejuvenated this morning, and I know that my conversation with Christopher last night has been rewarding. Chris is a manager at Accenture and he was part of the process that got me this internship. He is back in Singapore for a week before he goes back to Jakarta for his project at OCBC. I haven’t got the chance to speak to him about my work as he was away for reservist, until last night. I felt ashamed that I actually had compromised to the forces at work and nearly gave up my fighting spirit. I was told to “tone down” by my supervisor - to relax, enjoy time with my colleagues and not always be working. I’m puzzled. If I want to enjoy, I can do that with my own friends. If I do not want to learn, I wouldn’t be there in the first place. I would have simply slack my days through the whole summer. I can, of cos, benefit from the Accenture glam on my resume, but what I truly want to takeaway are skills and experiences that will support my personal development. But I realized that aggressiveness is being put off in my team. It’s not that I find the work too mediocre for me but the pace is simply too slow and the exposure is limited. My request was that on top of my current tasks, for me to sit in one of the design workshops (just a backseat will do), so that I can experience how the consultants work and speak to the clients. How do you expect to learn in an environment where contractors are both your colleagues and supervisors? How do you expect to learn in an environment where people are always giggling behind their computers and chatting? How do you expect to learn in an environment where copy and paste is your daily task? Of cos, I recognize that every work has its differentiated learning experience. This project is exciting and the work that the managers and the different tracks have done is remarkable. There is no doubt about that. But on my side, when I tried to read the functional designs, processes, reports and forms that were designed by our consultants, I realized that I am too slow in my copy and paste work. Given my current job scope as a data entry machine, I could not find any add-ons to my knowledge.
Many times, I thought that there must be something wrong with me. When I question and ask for more, people’s replies are usually “Doesn’t matter la”, “It’s not important”, “Relax la, don’t have to bother about this” or the like. Even in school, people don’t seem to pay attention to details, to seek perfection in everything they do. I feel discouraged by the general culture here in Singapore and kind of priorities people have, if they have any at all. The more we matured, the more educated we are, aren’t we not supposed to question more into social perceptions and habits that have been so readily accepted by everyone? And why are so many people inclined to take things passively? Of course, I recognized that people have different expectations and that could be a sweeping statement. But through my experiences in school and work, I can see that though there are definitely the outstanding ones, the average person falls short greatly.
Chris told me he wants to help me because he was in a similar position before. He told me that he sees potential and traits in me that are lacking in many people. He told me that it usually takes a person 5-6 years to become a manager at Accenture, but he was able to achieve that in 4 years – a record time. He told me that it requires a great deal of effort and it means having the right people to justify your value at work – and that’s your client. He will tell me more next week when we meet up for drinks. The most delightful thing he promised me is that he will be passing me materials and teaching me personally on an area we are both passionate in – Risk Management. In fact, he will be deployed in July to work in London for a year for his client Barclays! It’s so fantastic. I yearn for such opportunities. Talking about this reminds me how much I miss school, miss studying finance. To me, what hides behind academic results are motivation, discipline, passion, hard work and most importantly, sacrifices. Say for this summer, when my peers are enjoying their weekends in town or partying till late nights, I am doing my research project at home. And my motivation is that I can get to study Investment Banking at NYU! My dream is to become an investment banker, if not, a private banker. It’s really not only because of the money but also for the pride and achievement that comes along with challenges. I believe that - the reversal of roles – in 5 years’ time, I will take pride in my career and be empowered in my own life. I will persevere in this journey that I’m going through. =)
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