New York City!

HELLO! Have been too busy to blog or upload my photos. Since people have been asking me to update, I’ll back track abit, pen down my thoughts so far these 6 days I’m here and post some photos.
Cheers (:

[Click on the pics below for enlarged view]

Arrived New York City on 26^th August slightly past 12am. Flight was delayed many hours at JFK because of stormy weather. Northwest airline was fine; given the student price I paid which was so much cheaper than SQ. Justified. Transits though painful, can be interesting too; for people who haven’t been traveling too much like me. Airports can be good places to explore (Minneapolis DFS sells my Shiseido skincare cheaper than Changi Airport!) and experience the food and culture.

The cabby who drove me from JFK to 26^th Street Manhatten sucks big time - left me wondering, are Americans like that? I was told and I read too that it’s a flat rate US$45 from JFK to Manhatten, regardless of destination plus tolls and tips. He collected tolls from us though we saw him displaying the e-pass. And upon my destination, he demanded additional tips in addition to the flat rate. I questioned him and he yelled at me. Fine, I’ll rather not dispute that and since he was so desperate for extra money, we shall empathize! Probably he has too many cats at home to feed.

my dorm - 26th street residence hall

I was tramatised when I entered my apartment, it was beyond living conditions. Most importantly, there were no lights (bedrooms not meant to have lights because we have to get our own lamps; but the living room lights were spoilt) and we had to depend on the bathroom lights to clean up in the middle of the night. The place was dirty and the bathtub looked so disgusting and was choking water. I’m really blessed to have Yougang with me. He helped me made the place up and cleaned the bathroom for me to shower. And unlike some people who will, he never grumbles at anything. And then I had a good sleep, enough rest for me to fight the battle the next day.

I was still the only one who checked in. With daylight, we could better unpack my stuff and settle myself into this place I’m going to stay for the next couple of months. I was pretty depressed the first few days I arrived and everything seemed bad. I was asking myself why did I gave up the comfort of my home to come to this hostile city. Luckily I had Yougang around. Looking back now, I really think I had done a good job in settling myself comfortably. My room is well with all the things I need and the place is clean and tidy. I’ve got a pot and utensils and bought groceries too. I’ve bought washing liquids and pails too. Seriously, I realized that I make a good house-maker, my house-mates and room-mate don't know how to do alot of things. And I always believe that rich or not, girls should have a good sense of house-making cultivated in them. And I really appreciate myself for what I am and everything my mum has taught me. *comforted

this is where Yougang stayed

me at the back yard

a flea market near his hostel

selling all kinds of things

Yougang is not only my walking calculator; he is my road directory. Again, unlike some people, though he may not have the best knowledge, he carries always a pleasant attitude towards things and people. That’s so much better than people who preach and put people down. Anyways, we went to many exciting places (they all are since we are first time new yorkers!)

we took the subway

to canal street - chinatown

Chinatown is GREAT – a feeling of nostalgia I guess.

i've always been proud to be a chinese

and love everything about being one

even seeing old folks and their happy indulgence cheers me up

the market place

i just love chinatown

We went Little Italy too. Also, Madison Square Park - Yougang bought nuts to feed the squirrels and it was so exciting to have them coming around you. Well, I was scared. But he had squirrels jumping onto him haha. BUT, I have no pics to post because I’ve lost all of them (failed to upload to my comp and got deleted; so UPSET over it!). Anyways, it was really a fun experience for us. We went Washington Square Park too. There’s so many parks here. We went to the famous New York Public Library, but since photos are gone, I'll retake again. The place is fantastic, like a museum - must-see place!

Yougang has arrived at his new home in Ontario and his little university. Though it's not as exciting as nyc, his landlords are very nice people, a very cosy town (nyc can be quite a cold city), he'll enjoy his stay and peaceful life. I'm missing him already but will catch him soon when I visit him during my mid-term break (hopefully).

Meanwhile, Times Square is definitely a must-go place.

It’s WOWWWWW! I love Times Squares!

I'm going to catch Broadway shows one of these days

the truest experience

Times Sq is just so interesting with so many theme stores

the new-yorkers from NUS

Fifth Avenue is where all the branded boutiques are. All of them are at least 4 storeys high.

the ever-most famous fifth avenue

and as usual, I'll not miss LV. Seen a wallet I like, cost around S$900, I'll see if I can get it cheaper in sg or woodbury (should be going this weekend).

Fifth avenue is the upper class of life

the Disney store

everything's just too cute, just like me! Haha

NYU is definitely far more exciting than NUS. I observed that the students here are very passionate about what they study and they do things because they really want to do it. If they have no passion, they simply don’t do it. That’s quite against the culture in Singapore, as I feel that many students study because they have to and there seems no passion in life. But that’s only my two cents worth, since classes have not officially started.

NYC is an exciting place – especially for people who are hungry for the financial sector. There are opportunities everywhere for grasp. I would have wanted to be born and raised here since it’s where my passion is.

However, no matter how green the grass is on the other side, I’m still missing home - missing my family. I miss mummy so badly, yah and I was crying at the airport and on the flights. But have been skyping with her quite every few days. No matter what, it’s good afterall to learn how to be on your own, in a place so different to how we were brought up.

Big Girls Don't Cry

Every little thought matters

the thought of wanting to keep me warm

the thought of wanting to get me something useful

and unique


the thought of knowing my little faves


the thought of understanding what I'll need


the thought of knowing where I'll be


the thought of missing me when I'm away


the thought of not wanting me to feel lost


and the thought of protecting me in a faraway place


I love everyone who loves me in every little way.
Leaving soon for my flight and will be back again when I'm settled in New York City.

A Special Friend

To everyone who cares: Back and I’m fine!
Haven’t been blogging cos I was really busy with ny preparation.

AND.. I just received some flowers delivered to my house..

So.. I wanna say to YOU:

You really surprised me ya. Yes, I’ve always liked roses and they’re beautiful! But I’m more touched by your thought and it’s really the thought that counts. Though we had only been closer these few months, you have proven to be a very worthy friend – someone who never stops caring and being there for me. This while, you have also impressed me with your passion in school activities and in your life. You never stop trying hard at everything and it’s the attitude that makes a difference. I appreciate all the things you have done for me, sincerely - Thank you. Study hard and be happy every day =)

The End of Summer Vacation

I went to east coast today, with the intention to see the sunset. Alone.
I’ve always loved the east coast because it’s the best place on mainland to get in touch with the sea, sand and sky. Especially when I’m feeling down.

I got really upset when it started raining after I reached. And it always rain la whenever I feel depressed. But just shortly, to my surprise, I was greeted by a rainbow.

Maybe things are really not that bad. It’s how I perceive them to be. Even though it rains occasionally, I still have a beautiful rainbow in front of me. Hopefully something good awaits me at the end of it. Patience is what I need.

I feel very guilty because I canceled my friend’s appointment again in the hope of meeting him today, and that was meant to be an early birthday celebration for me. Some sacrifices can be quite meaningless. Looks like my birthday this year can’t be much happier.

And I just came back from drinking again. Don’t even understand why we both have to try to get drunk to say what we want. Seriously, if I'm not his type of girl, just be upfront about it. Don’t have to add in so many other issues to complicate things and confuse me further.

I wanted to try because I am certain of how I feel for him and he is everything I wanted – until he told me he doesn’t want to settle down yet. I don’t fall in love easily so it really takes me like one in a million chances to settle for someone. Of cos, there are people I like more than friends but not to the extent I’ll wanna have a relationship with. That’s why I didn't want to give up easily. I know he has his reservations and I can understand why. But I seriously don’t think that having a partner about the same age will definitely be better. Someone younger can bring different perspectives and as much happiness into your life please.

But whatever. The reason is no longer important now. If there’s love, anything can be worked out. If not, there is really no point in saying so much.

I'll work very hard to forget everything about this - not because I want to but because he made me to. We will return to how we were like in the past.

Guess I won’t be blogging for the coming week at least. I need to find myself.

I’ll remember what you told me, Pam. Will be missing you lots. Take good care in Sidney and we will meet again when I’m back.

This summer vacation has had many episodes for me. It's sad but some things just have to end.

Torn

I laid in bed thinking about what he told me, feeling ever more discouraged.

So, simple wishes in life are for the naïve. And I’ll come to realize that it’s near impossible to find a pure kind of love in men, especially older men. Is this really the reality that I had refused to reconcile with all these years? So that explains why for the past year that I’m single, I couldn’t meet someone that I was looking for? Whatever he said does make some sense. And I feel fearful now – have I been trapping myself in a world of my own?

Why do men enjoy making their life complicated? Why isn’t the peace, that a simple life can bring rewarding enough? My ex is one kind too. Where is that end that they are seeking to reach? Or there isn’t any in the first place.

Yes I may be such a naïve, silly and ignorant girl, but there are values that I believe and want to preserve. So, even if I can never find the unconditional love, at least I’ve lived by my beliefs – and even if one day I realize that I’ve been living in alienation, at least I’ve refused to be corrupted.

One thing for sure, I've been through too much pain to ever allow another person to hurt me again. No matter how much I feel for him.

It’s impossible to love without being torn. That’s it.

My fave Final Fantasy 8 with one of my fave songs :)

The Truth Hurts

Suddenly, I feel so sorry for all the guys who had liked me before - especially those that I’ve rejected. Maybe I’ve always had my way around too much. Now, I know what it feels like to love someone and at the same time, accept the fact that nothing can come out of it - a feeling of heartache. But what to do, with not much luck. Pam told me that perhaps I’m just feeling bored at this point of my life with no one to love. But it’s not la. It’s like after knowing someone for a period of time and slowly realized that you like everything about this person, whether good or bad. You just feel happy for the simplest reason. And when you start to have some hopes for being together, you know you’re in love.

Yesterday was one of my worse nights ever – not because I was dead drunk, but because I did something to make myself feel worse. Not only did I not distance myself, I’ve made myself more attached to my feelings for him. It’s a good thing I’ll be leaving Singapore in 3 weeks even though I believe I’ll still miss him. And I’ve always believe that love is not about possession. He has brought sense and joy into my life. Even just standing beside him makes me contented. And he has given me the direction to look out for the kind of guys that I will like, in future.

I really appreciate some friends who have been very concerned about me and my recent emotions (you know who you are). Thanks, I’ll be fine la after some time. Erm, I realized that I haven’t been appreciating friends as much so I’ll work on that. Though my love life is empty, I feel consoled with you all around. =)

不能说的•秘密

Secret made me cry.

I really love this film. (Or probably I love everything Jay does.) It is definitely not the cliché love story. In fact, it’s a simple romantic love story but with a remarkable twist and an unexpected ending. The setting, the shooting and the scenes were excellent. Jay is indeed talented and he knows exactly what appeals to the mass audience today. I applaud him for his first directed movie. Some people may find this film rather unrealistic at some point. But I think the idea is that at the end of it, when different puzzles piece together, the film leaves the audience with some room for their own thoughts and revelations. I believe that if I watch it a second time, I may realize something new.

But what I hated about this movie was that it actually left me feeling heartache and depressed the whole evening. Because I could connect with the emotions of the female lead – she was depressed because no one understood what she was going through emotionally. There was a scene when she was inscribing words on the table and crying terribly: 我爱你。你爱我吗? It really made me upset. The film ingeniously engaged me emotionally with a mix of the desire for a simple romance and the heartbreaks that come with it.

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh

回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

Two interesting articles I read online:

Jay Chou looks for old feeling in new movie

23 Jun 2007
Source: YCWB

Besides the plot, Jay Chou was happy to talk about other "secrets". He revealed, that he wanted to express a student style of love, "the love of students is a very pure thing, it's not complicated like in society, but this is not my biography". He said, his own first love was not as exciting as in the movie, "She wasn't as beautiful as the female lead in the movie, and I wasn't as thoughtful like in the movie, if it was filmed no one would watch it". Jay Chou admitted there was a kissing scene in the movie, not only that but he doesn't just kiss one girl. As for his own role, he revealed he has the most lines among everyone, and he didn't get dubbed, so he reckons everyone will get tired listening to it.

Jay Chou told of his honest reason for wanting to be a director: "I am an actor, I think that if I was a director I can control everything. I am a Capricorn, I like to control others." Some people questioned if he hired a "contractor" to film it, he shook his head: "I'm most afraid of people suspecting this one. In order to avoid suspicion, I didn't even let Andrew Lau come visit, only until the last day did he come and watch my movie, as a result he said I learnt from him." After filming "Secret", Jay Chou will not be directing movies for three years, "Being the director of a MV is very relaxing, being a movie director is too tiring, for the next three years I'll be concentrating on making music". But if he was to film the next one, he wants to film a martial arts movie.

Female lead Guey Lun-mei commented on Jay Chou: "He isn't so cool like when you see him normally, he doesn't like to talk but is very witty". In fact, yesterday at the press conference Jay Chou showed off his humorous side. When a reporter asked him what "secrets" were there that he could not tell the outside world, he expressed: "There are too many secrets that cannot be told, the first is my mother's age. Also there's love, if I get a girlfriend in the future, I won't talk about it. In terms of other things, it is just a blank piece of paper, everyone is very clear about that. So talking about love, my mouth will be a bit tighter." So what would Jay Chou do if the paparazzi secretly filmed his "relationship"? He chose to act like a child: "If I don't admit to it then it's not true, if they filmed me with my mother and said I was dating, isn't that going over the top. Also I have to remind the girls beside me to be careful, otherwise it will be very easy for people to say you are dating."

Jay Chou lightning kiss, spends millions

03 Jul 2007
Source: UDN

Finally Jay Chou can talk about the kissing scenes in his new self-starring self-directed movie "Secret", firstly Guey Lun-mei secretly kisses Jay Chou, and then the two kiss each other mouth to mouth in the sunset at Tam Sui, according to reports, filming these two kissing scenes nearly made Jay Chou "crazy", he completely reminisced about the scene of his first love.

Even though he stated clearly this was not an autobiography, but "Secret" hides too many real little secrets of Jay Chou, as the release date 10th of August draws closer, the secrets gradually leak out.

For example the kissing scene that has just been exposed, was designed by Jay Chou, describing the first time he and Guey Lun-mei open up about their feelings, the two arrange to take a walk around the record shop, as they walk, Guey Lun-mei couldn't help but steal a kiss on Jay Chou.

For filming this scene, Jay Chou spent nearly a million yuan to hire out the café at Shi-Da Road, they spent 3 days redecorating it into an old fashioned record shop. Jay Chou ordered that Yao Su Jung's old song "Tears Of Lovers" must be played at the set. Everyone was surprised, they thought Jay Chou's mother was coming to visit, Jay Chou said with complete confidence "I think that song's got a lot of atmosphere".

The director on the set is the biggest and what he say goes, Jay Chou officially shouts "Action", Guey Lun-mei kisses him at lightning speed, Jay Chou was very happy, then his heartbeat started going faster, he completely "forgot who I was".

But this was only the warm up, the story develops to the point the two's relationship is strong, they arrange to meet at Tam Sui at sunset, they kiss in front of the beautiful scenery, mouth to mouth, but Jay Chou has insisted the pictures of the scene must not be exposed.

Sorry didn't mean it

Day 1 of forgetting him was good. Went to see Dr Koo at YIH today. Had a farewell chat and he gave me alot of encouragement. Made me feel so much better. But still, shouldn’t rely on him too much. He gave me some supply of sleeping pills too, yah he’s worried I can’t sleep well in NY.

Feeling quite bad about hurting someone’s feelings today – this guy who made my specs. He was irritating me so much when he started calling and sms-ing me, so I was quite hostile to him when I went back to collect my things today. I could feel he was quite affected by it. Well, actually come to think of it, he was trying to be nice to me and I should stop giving people attitude to avoid more bad karma. So at least when I finally meet someone I like, he will be nice to me.

Going away may be a good thing afterall. Hopefully, setting myself further away from matters that I hold too close to my heart would put things into better perspectives.

Secret

I realized that it wasn’t something I didn’t say.

It was never meant to be right from the start. It was only my one-sided feelings. It’s funny why I chose a closed option when I have so many other offers. Why can’t I just feel something for any of those guys who are going after me? Instead of having to go through this. If it’s not cos I like banging my head against the wall, it’s just bad karma I think.

Sigh. There is really nothing more I want to say. I can only distance myself and forget about it.

Are you feeling it too ..

It’s about being away and still having you on my mind that makes me realize how much you mean to me.

Fall in love with me?

Dan asked why do I think so much about love. He told me love is really over-rated and the sooner I realised that, the easier my life will become.

I’ve been through a bad relationship. I know it but it’s alright. Really. I appreciate everyone’s concern. It’s okay. Though I'm now going through a period of uncertainty and confusion, things would be clearer in time. It's not that I'm still inmatured or anything but, I just wanna share my life with someone I like. It's funny come to think of it - I remember I applied for exchange cos I badly wanted to get out of here, but few months later, I’m actually sad to be leaving now. If given more time, things would be different? Maybe.

You would probably never understand what I’m talking about. Or probably you just rather not talk about it. Whatever it is, I’m glad just to have someone nice residing in my heart for now and for the many months ahead. I believe that your spirit will be my strength.