The End of Summer Vacation

I went to east coast today, with the intention to see the sunset. Alone.
I’ve always loved the east coast because it’s the best place on mainland to get in touch with the sea, sand and sky. Especially when I’m feeling down.

I got really upset when it started raining after I reached. And it always rain la whenever I feel depressed. But just shortly, to my surprise, I was greeted by a rainbow.

Maybe things are really not that bad. It’s how I perceive them to be. Even though it rains occasionally, I still have a beautiful rainbow in front of me. Hopefully something good awaits me at the end of it. Patience is what I need.

I feel very guilty because I canceled my friend’s appointment again in the hope of meeting him today, and that was meant to be an early birthday celebration for me. Some sacrifices can be quite meaningless. Looks like my birthday this year can’t be much happier.

And I just came back from drinking again. Don’t even understand why we both have to try to get drunk to say what we want. Seriously, if I'm not his type of girl, just be upfront about it. Don’t have to add in so many other issues to complicate things and confuse me further.

I wanted to try because I am certain of how I feel for him and he is everything I wanted – until he told me he doesn’t want to settle down yet. I don’t fall in love easily so it really takes me like one in a million chances to settle for someone. Of cos, there are people I like more than friends but not to the extent I’ll wanna have a relationship with. That’s why I didn't want to give up easily. I know he has his reservations and I can understand why. But I seriously don’t think that having a partner about the same age will definitely be better. Someone younger can bring different perspectives and as much happiness into your life please.

But whatever. The reason is no longer important now. If there’s love, anything can be worked out. If not, there is really no point in saying so much.

I'll work very hard to forget everything about this - not because I want to but because he made me to. We will return to how we were like in the past.

Guess I won’t be blogging for the coming week at least. I need to find myself.

I’ll remember what you told me, Pam. Will be missing you lots. Take good care in Sidney and we will meet again when I’m back.

This summer vacation has had many episodes for me. It's sad but some things just have to end.