The Truth Hurts

Suddenly, I feel so sorry for all the guys who had liked me before - especially those that I’ve rejected. Maybe I’ve always had my way around too much. Now, I know what it feels like to love someone and at the same time, accept the fact that nothing can come out of it - a feeling of heartache. But what to do, with not much luck. Pam told me that perhaps I’m just feeling bored at this point of my life with no one to love. But it’s not la. It’s like after knowing someone for a period of time and slowly realized that you like everything about this person, whether good or bad. You just feel happy for the simplest reason. And when you start to have some hopes for being together, you know you’re in love.

Yesterday was one of my worse nights ever – not because I was dead drunk, but because I did something to make myself feel worse. Not only did I not distance myself, I’ve made myself more attached to my feelings for him. It’s a good thing I’ll be leaving Singapore in 3 weeks even though I believe I’ll still miss him. And I’ve always believe that love is not about possession. He has brought sense and joy into my life. Even just standing beside him makes me contented. And he has given me the direction to look out for the kind of guys that I will like, in future.

I really appreciate some friends who have been very concerned about me and my recent emotions (you know who you are). Thanks, I’ll be fine la after some time. Erm, I realized that I haven’t been appreciating friends as much so I’ll work on that. Though my love life is empty, I feel consoled with you all around. =)